Recently I met a really nice guy…. And I blew it with him!  

I totally admit I was in the wrong but for some reason when I like someone I turn into someone completely different the worse thing is that I know I do it! What is all that about.

I met him online and we got chatting on email than on text and then talking on the phone, it was nice.. Each time I saw his name appear on my phone I caught myself smiling……. I know its silly but ill admit i’m an old romantic at heart. 

Our first date was nice, we went out for dinner, he was a true gent, conversation flowed at the end of the night we went back to mine and had a cup of tea and he left and gave me a kiss on the cheek! I got into bed that night thinking he seems like a really nice guy, down to earth just my type! 

We had a few more dates and I was happy things were good but I scared at the same time. I always think something bad will happen when I actually like someone. Your learn that I date a lot but I don’t actually fall for a lot of people but when I do I fall hook, line and sinker!

We arranged to meet again and this time I was so excited, I had butterflies in my tummy on the day as I was really looking forward to seeing him, we had another great night and this time when he left I got a kiss……. I was like a Cheshire cat that night. 

Things were going along nice, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking but is he really this nice? None of the other blokes I have met have been so why would he be.

Why do we do this? or is it just me that does??

We meet a nice bloke but we doubt them….. I seem to bring all my past relationship rubbish into a new one and I know it’s not right and I really try hard not too.

Anyway as soon as I had texted him this something silly  I knew I shouldn’t of. I wish you could recall text messages but you cant…. Why not!  (maybe I should speak to Apple about this function being available on the next iPhone)

Now he wont speak to me, and it really hurts but there is noting I can do, I’ve said sorry, I’ve sent a funny text asking if there’s any chance of a 2nd chance but still nothing. I’m gutted I really am. I started off a bit upset, trust me to go and blow it with a nice bloke, but then I started thinking hold on a sec if he was that nice surly he would have replied to me…even if it was to say look Doris I’m not up for this, I’m not looking for the same thing as you. but he didn’t and hasn’t.

Not sure about you, but I like a bit of closure on things as i am a bit of a thinker when I’m alone, and 9 times out of 10 I think the worst or maybe I don’t!

I keep thinking Should have gone with the flow, Could have of worded it better, Would that really of worked?! 

Who knows… but what I do know is Doris will not dwell on this too much, life is too short x

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