Recently I had an ex get in touch with me…. When I say ex… I mean an old friend … when I say old friend I mean an old buddy.

Buddy may refer to:

We met 3 years ago when I had split up from my ex and was going through a bit of a rough patch. Out all the time, enjoying myself a bit too much. I think after a long relationship a lot of people do this

We met online….  we seemed to both have the same sense of humor. I love a bloke that can make me laugh. We arranged to meet and I was excited. The day of us meeting he called me and said I need to be honest with you, ive got a girlfriend but we aren’t getting on, constant rows……. I was gutted, but im sorry to say I still met him as I liked him.

We ended up seeing each other a few more times and it was always good fun…. This is going to sound selfish but it was what I needed… I know he wasn’t going to get attached as he had his own problems going on. It was like a relief for both of us. I would ask him stuff about home and he would always be honest. But the last time I saw him we had a row, as I knew he didn’t want to be with me that night so he ended up going home. I told him that it was best for us not to speak anymore.

That was that……until a year ago I got an email from him. I was a little shocked but was glad to hear from him. He didn’t say a lot, but basically said he had split up a year ago, and getting things sorted. I was glad he was ok, but I thought it was best not to be in touch too much.

We had the odd email going backwards and forwards, once again we were back to having a laugh, but I wasn’t thinking too much about it. Until a few months ago he said he was all sorted and did I fancy meeting up.

It was set …. Saturday I was going to the coast… to see a bloke I had sort of been seeing 3 years ago. was I mad??? Yes but it felt good :0)

We had a really funny night I hadn’t laughed that much with someone for a long time. We spoke about a few things and we both said that we didn’t want anything heavy but we enjoyed each others company so it would be nice to see each other.

To some people this might sound strange, but it was what I thought I wanted … or was it?

We spoke a few more times and he would ask me to go down there but I had plans so couldn’t make it. We finally agreed on a night and once again I was looking forward to seeing him, then he dropped the bomb shell… Im seeing someone!

WHAT ……. I was so angry with him. I told him I couldn’t see him, he couldn’t understand why. His words, it’s not serious with her, ive only been seeing her a few days and I still want to see you.

I felt so let down but I couldn’t work out why. Maybe deep down I did like him a lot more than what I thought, Maybe I thought something more was going to come of it. Whydidn’t he want to start seeing me as his girlfriend? 

It’s really knocked my confidence.

I know what some people will be thinking when they read this.

What did you expect when you get into that position with someone.

Don’t you respect yourself

Why didn’t you tell him you wanted more……..

The answers are… I wasn’t thinking as I thought I could handle N.S.A….. but it just goes to show that I can’t.  

 No Strings Attached is not for me, maybe when I was younger but these days I know it’s not what im looking for.

Its time for me to look at all this dating and be honest with myself as to what I actually want…. A Happy Ever After.