Archives for category: Friends

2011 has been an amazing year. Never regret anything you do as that is what life is all about, living and learning. If you don’t make mistakes how are you meant to learn from them?

I have met some prize idiots this year but that is what dating is all about. You have to take the rough with the smooth and it makes great story telling.

In 2011 have I have dated 9 men actually make that 10……

One of them reminded me of my ex boyfriend

Another did not look like his picture

Two of them looked much better than their picture

Three of them I knew I didn’t like as soon as we met up – no spark

One looked like he was 17 and was certainly not athletic build

One broke my heart twice!

One has become a good friend of mine

And one …. Well who knows yet but I am looking forward to finding out!

I have learnt that friends are an extension of your family as they mean that much to you. Some friendships you out grow but you are glad of the memories that you share with them.

Sometimes you will not always have the answers your friends are looking for, but just by listening to them you are helping.

Most importantly I have learnt that the decisions I make are right for me and no-one else, people can have their views and opinion’s on what I do but at the end of the day it’s down to me.

Right or wrong I will find out for myself!

Thanks 2011 I have learnt a lot, but you know what there is always more to learn and I am ready for it……

My Tuesday night date with Adam was lovely. I was very impressed with myself as I managed to shower, wash my hair, iron my top, slap on some war paint (make up) and dry my hair all in 30 mins , Pat on the back for me.  To be fair I don’t wear a lot of make up never have really.

Adam arrived bang on 7pm, I opened the door and there he was with a bottle of my favourite wine and a big box of chocolates, how nice is he, *big smile across my face*. The choc and wine won’t be a regular thing it was his way of saying sorry for letting me down on Sunday.

It was really nice to see him again; I get this warm fuzzy feeling when I see him.

We left my house and drive to a really nice country pub, about 30 mins from mine. Adam is a quiet bloke but not too quiet as he holds his own conversation which I like and I love hearing his stories. I get the impression he is a well thought of bloke by friends and family.

The pub that he took me too was actually one I have driven past a few times and is on my list of pubs to try.  It was what I would call a cosy pub, log fires, comfy sofa’s you felt welcome as soon as you walked in. Adam being the gent that he is ordered me a glass of rose and got himself a drink.  We go off to find a table, typical date couple as we choose the table out-of-the-way of people so we could chat.

We seem to chat about everything and found we have a common ground of certain foods. Now this may sound silly to you but we were laughing about it. I have friends that love eating olives and when I lived in Cyprus I always wanted to like them as they looked so nice but every time I tried them I couldn’t stand them. They are the sort of food I want to like but just don’t, Mad I know. But it seems Adam is the same, he always tries them thinking one day he will suddenly like them lol.

We ordered a starter to share and carried on talking. I couldn’t stop looking at his eyes though as he has the loveliest blue eyes I have ever seen.

As always the conversation gets round to work, Adam tells me that from next week he will be working in Birmingham 5 days a week and back at the weekends until Christmas………  Just my luck I meet a  really nice bloke, who is local, lovely and his going to be working away.  A little bit gutted if I am honest.  Whilst I know we have only just met, to have a chance of getting to know someone you need to see them and with him Birmingham are we going to be able to do this?

The time seems to fly, the table is cleared and we decided to skip pudding as we are both full. We head back to mine for a cuppa ….. yes just a cuppa no funny business… well just a kiss. He even asked if he could kiss me. I am really not used to this at all it’s totally different.

I am looking forward to the next date.

 

After a very busy week at work I was looking forward to the weekend. I had a date planned for Friday night but that didn’t happen. In one way I was secretly pleased. I was telling the girls on Saturday. I feel like I SHOULD be dating but to be honest I don’t want to just yet. I can’t stop thinking about my Electrician Essex boy it’s doing my head in. I miss chatting to him, he didn’t always have a lot to say but he always made me laugh.

Saturday was another gorgeous day and we had planned a girlie Sex In The City afternoon tea,  5 * hotel, cakes (check out the pic at the bottom), champagne, flirtni’s it was lovely and a chance for us girls to catch up. Two of the girls couldn’t make it but it was still nice to see the others.

After our posh afternoon tea we headed back home to Dartford football club as they were having a ladies night. Now this might just be us but when someone says ladies night, we thought, strippers, baby oiled up men, g strings….. our imagination’s were running wild!  Lucky we have good imagination’s  as when we arrived we were faced with a sea of bored housewive’s sitting around listening to a singer, who was very good may I just add but he didn’t know any songs from this era!  

We thought our prayers had been answered when the smoke alarm went off,  two fire engines turned up, but they were real fireman and they were not interested in getting their hose out for anyone! 

We were tempted to join the 18th birthday party as the music up there was excellent but we decided to call it a night. I have to say, I wasn’t expecting to be sober when I got home at 11pm but we still had a giggle.

All in all it was a great weekend even managed to sort out my garden with the help of my parents.

Who know’s what this week has in store for me, but I’ll be ready for it as always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel like I have lost the will to live to be honest with you, but you have got to be in it to win it!

I have re activated my account on plenty of issues but finding it a bit hard as my Electrician Essex boy is also on there and he keeps popping up. I really wish things had been different with us. I miss chatting to the miserable sod haha.

I used to find the online dating thing fun but now I’m finding it hard work. I can normally talk the hind legs off a donkey but it’s just not happening for me at the moment. It’s like having another job, I finish one then I feel like I have to start my next one … Flicking through all the pictures and reading profiles which all seem to say the same thing!  A friend of mine recently asked me if there was anyone at work I liked?  Honestly no there isn’t I’ve done the work thing before and yes it was fun … Actually very fun, but I really don’t want to get into that again, I like my job too much.

I have never been fussy about the people I speak to …in that I mean, I’ve never minded where they live, if they have kids, if they were once married etc but maybe I should? But doesn’t that defeat the whole point of doing internet dating that you meet someone who you wouldn’t normally?

At my age it’s rare to find someone who doesn’t have kids, or a past and that is fair enough. We all have a past that is what makes us.

Maybe I need to find a new dating site? If you have any suggestions please let me know.

 

 A good friend of mine sent this to me. It really got me thinking about things. We are all so busy, stressed out that we sometimes forget the important things in life!

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, when 24 Hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

 The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, friends, and favourite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else –The small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So, pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal unit. ‘Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked.’ It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

It’s been a month since I broke up with Electrician Essex Boy.  Well I am guessing we have broken up as he hasn’t spoken to me since that silly row, and I know he hasn’t broken his fingers as his back on the dating site that we met on, so his able to type. Ha ha

There are have been some tears, a lot of thinking and even a bit of anger, as we all go through those stages. Now I am at the stage where I am chatting to people again but I am just not feeling it. I have been chatting to some really nice blokes, but as soon as they say lets chat on the phone or those dreaded words, let’s meet up. I seem to run the other way.

Dating is all about the thrill of the chase, chatting to people, and wondering what will happen if you actually meet up. Will you or wont you get on? Will you have that spark?

It’s exciting when you’re dating.  I love it when you are getting ready and you have butterflies in your stomach, nerves are taking over.

Whilst writing this, it has got me thinking. I need to forget everything that has happened and I just need to be myself and have a laugh again.

If I meet up with someone and we get on then great and if we don’t maybe I’ll make a good friend or maybe I won’t but if I don’t try I am never going to know!

So if you find my …… please return to sender ASAP, you will know its mine as it will be labelled up, Lovable, Ginger, Essex, A Little Mad but in a good way!

 

My new housemate has now moved in and the house feels alive again. The last few lodgers have been people who are moving on after a few month’s. Stacey (she’s Welsh and I’m a fan of Gavin and Stacey) has a permanent job in the area and wants to feel settled as the last 7 months have been exhausting for her. The last house she rented a room in was a shared place with six guys, can you imagine that! 

When I got home last Monday after a manic day at work it was nice to see Stacey in the house making her room look all homely. We had a quick chat and she tells me that she’s not really sure how she feels about the guy she is seeing. Guess where she met him. Plenty of fish or should I say plenty of issues!

I said to her about me going Yoga! Yes you heard me right I was going to try it. After the last few weeks I needed something for me. Now I’ve never tried  it before but if you don’t try these things your never know.

Off we trot to the local gym. It must be our lucky night as we manage to get the last two places. I never knew it was so popular.

We walk into the studio and meet the teacher…. Who looks at us like we have 2 heads!

Hi we are new to this, To which she replies oh great new people I’m surprised you got in as this class is normally fully booked! Ok….. Well we did and here we are! 

We collect our mats and like children take them to the back of the room. Have you ever done yoga? She bellows across the studio. No we both replied but we have been told it’s good. Well I’ll explain more when the class starts! There are 12 of us in the studio and she begins. Now one thing I’ve found out already about Stacey is that when she’s nervous she laughs….. Not the best of things in a yoga class so I avoid eye contact with her.

She tells us to sit with our legs crossed and relax our shoulders and close our eyes. I’m liking this. Not too bad after all. Then she tells us to do other things, but as we are new we don’t know what she is talking about so I open my eyes to see what the others are doing to be told please close my eye. How am I meant to know what to do?

So I try as much as I can whilst peeking through one eye open and I actually enjoy it. At the end of the class you have a 10/15min cool down and this was great you lay there and think of nothing apart from your body and how it feels. I know this sounds strange but honestly it felt great. I came out feeling so tired but uber relaxed.

Maybe yoga is my new thing…. As long as I can find another class.

When people say a problem shared is a problem halved, they are right!

It has been a strange few week’s… or if I am honest months. And during this time I have distanced myself from my friends when I needed them the most. It all came to a head when my best friend and I had a falling out which is most unheard of.

It was time to come clean about things, and I did. I was so worried about saying certain things but it felt so good to get it all off my chest. My friends have all said that they miss the happy and jolly Doris. So do I.

I am trying my best to get her back.

Work has been a difficult place to be as it seems we have been going through big changes every month. I think it’s now settling down, I am actually enjoying going into work. Don’t get me wrong it’s still busy and busy means you’re not clock watching so I am happy.

 My love life has been like a roller coaster. You all know that the last 9 weeks have been a struggle for me with a certain someone. But in a strange way I feel happier that we are not together anymore. My ex rocking up at my house really threw me and got me questioning myself about things that should never be questioned.

But that is all in the past. The next few months I am going to concentrate on me, me, me and my friends.

Don’t panic I havent given up dating altogether. I am still chatting to people but I have been honest and told them that I am not looking for anything at the moment.  

So watch this space, New Doris is coming soon!

Hobby!

Yes a hobby. I am so bored at the moment.  The feeling sorry for myself about breaking up with Electrician Essex Boy has now gone. That was quick I hear you say but come on lets be honest if he cant talk to me to tell me what was going then his not for me.

I may sound strong but I’ll let you into a secret,inside I am hurting like you wouldn’t know but if I tell myself that I am over it and I am happy then I will be.  There is no point in wasting my time thinking about someone who clearly isn’t thinking about me.

I deserve better!

I was talking to a friend of mine and said what makes you happy?

A few months ago I would have said dating makes me happy, how bad does that sound. It was fun and always a good laugh chatting to the girls about the nights events.

Now this shouldn’t have been a hard question but I actually didn’t have an answer. Of course my family and friends make me happy. But family and friends have their own lives to be getting on with. Its time to have something for me …… but what?

It seems like all I do is go to work, come home eat and do it all again the next day…..

I am going to look at a gym as I have been informed that exercising releases happy endorphins making you feel lots better about yourself, and who knows there might be some hot guys in the gym!

The same friend that asked me the question suggested dog walking…. she said this has she has two gorgeous dogs that I adore especially Charlie, I think it’s because he is ginger like me! Ha ha  

I am always open to ideas so if you can think of a hobby for me let me know!

It’s fair to say that when us girls have a gut feeling we are 99% of the time right!

If you have been reading my blog for a few weeks you will know that I had been seeing my Electrician Essex Boy for 9 weeks and I thought I was happy, but deep down I wasn’t. I was finding it really hard.

We broke up at the weekend and to be honest I am still a little angry as I feel like he is being a child, he won’t talk to me or reply to texts which infuriates me. But there is nothing I can do. So that’s it.

Did the last 9 weeks not mean anything to him?

Am I that bad a person that he can’t bring himself to speak to me and say look Doris this isn’t working.

I can’t believe I got it wrong again…….

I liked him he made me laugh and at first he made me feel special but that all started to change. Some people will think I am needy and maybe I am but I can’t help how I feel. I know I am scarred from past relationships and I tried so hard not to bring any of those insecurities into this relationship. I tried talking to friends about how I was feeling but some of them just didn’t get it.

What’s that saying “Once bitten twice shy” that is definitely me.

Maybe I’m not cut out to be in a relationship, which is sad as I know that one day I would love to have little Doris’s running around, a family of my own, oh and a dog!

I think it’s fair to say it’s not my time yet. So in the mean time I am going to concentrate on me!

I might finally join that gym, might be good to try and keep this break up weight ive lost so far off.  7lbs in 4 days isnt bad going!