A good friend of mine sent this to me. It really got me thinking about things. We are all so busy, stressed out that we sometimes forget the important things in life!

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, when 24 Hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

 The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, friends, and favourite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else –The small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So, pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal unit. ‘Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked.’ It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

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For the last month or so I have been trying to get over my Electrician Essex Boy and it’s not been easy at all. It never is when you like someone. Normally I would get myself out on a date but this time I have not wanted too, why…. Because it wasn’t with him!

Then a few Friday’s ago I was sitting in the office, When  my phone lights up with a number that I don’t know……..

“How’s you stranger? x”

 I have no idea who it is so I reply “Sorry who is this?”

The next reply was not what I was expecting…. “It’s your electrician friend”

My heart literally missed a beat… Yes you guessed it, its My Electrician Essex Boy.

Whilst I am happy that his got in touch with me, it’s the last thing I was expecting. We text for a bit, doing the, how have you been chat…. When really all I want to say is why did you stop talking to me! but I resist for a bit. Not for long though as I can’t help it, so I blurt out, “what happened that weekend?”

And I wait…….

It doesn’t take him long to come back to me with an answer. It seems that he had been getting grief from his ex and he read something that he shouldn’t have read. I go back to him saying, you having trouble with your ex doesn’t mean you need to take it out on me.

That’s when he comes back with, I read your blog……….. the one about your ex getting in touch with you!

From the start I told him that I wrote a dating blog and he found it funny, but he always said he couldn’t remember the name of it and therefore wouldn’t read it, and to be honest I didn’t think he would be interested in it. To me writing this blog, is my escapism, as no one really knows who I am, so I can say what I truly feel at the time. Some say that I don’t show my emotions much, but I think I do when I write my blogs as people don’t judge me.

It turns out he was pissed off/upset that I didn’t tell him about the ex, but I didn’t feel I needed to tell him as it didn’t mean anything to me. I’ll admit, I thought about telling him but thought better of it, as I was scared he would think there was more to it and there wasn’t. It doesn’t matter what I did as I lost him anyway, or have I?

What is it with blokes, why can’t they talk about stuff.  If he had said to me about it I would have told him everything. I didn’t want to hide anything from him, I liked him too much for that. Anyway no point going over the,should have, could have, would have.

So what happens now with My Electrician Essex Boy…… Well It’s been a few weeks now since he got in touch and I am pleased to say it is going well.

I love that we are speaking again and when I see him it makes me smile.  What more can I ask for!

I am a very happy Doris.

It’s been a month since I broke up with Electrician Essex Boy.  Well I am guessing we have broken up as he hasn’t spoken to me since that silly row, and I know he hasn’t broken his fingers as his back on the dating site that we met on, so his able to type. Ha ha

There are have been some tears, a lot of thinking and even a bit of anger, as we all go through those stages. Now I am at the stage where I am chatting to people again but I am just not feeling it. I have been chatting to some really nice blokes, but as soon as they say lets chat on the phone or those dreaded words, let’s meet up. I seem to run the other way.

Dating is all about the thrill of the chase, chatting to people, and wondering what will happen if you actually meet up. Will you or wont you get on? Will you have that spark?

It’s exciting when you’re dating.  I love it when you are getting ready and you have butterflies in your stomach, nerves are taking over.

Whilst writing this, it has got me thinking. I need to forget everything that has happened and I just need to be myself and have a laugh again.

If I meet up with someone and we get on then great and if we don’t maybe I’ll make a good friend or maybe I won’t but if I don’t try I am never going to know!

So if you find my …… please return to sender ASAP, you will know its mine as it will be labelled up, Lovable, Ginger, Essex, A Little Mad but in a good way!

 

My new housemate has now moved in and the house feels alive again. The last few lodgers have been people who are moving on after a few month’s. Stacey (she’s Welsh and I’m a fan of Gavin and Stacey) has a permanent job in the area and wants to feel settled as the last 7 months have been exhausting for her. The last house she rented a room in was a shared place with six guys, can you imagine that! 

When I got home last Monday after a manic day at work it was nice to see Stacey in the house making her room look all homely. We had a quick chat and she tells me that she’s not really sure how she feels about the guy she is seeing. Guess where she met him. Plenty of fish or should I say plenty of issues!

I said to her about me going Yoga! Yes you heard me right I was going to try it. After the last few weeks I needed something for me. Now I’ve never tried  it before but if you don’t try these things your never know.

Off we trot to the local gym. It must be our lucky night as we manage to get the last two places. I never knew it was so popular.

We walk into the studio and meet the teacher…. Who looks at us like we have 2 heads!

Hi we are new to this, To which she replies oh great new people I’m surprised you got in as this class is normally fully booked! Ok….. Well we did and here we are! 

We collect our mats and like children take them to the back of the room. Have you ever done yoga? She bellows across the studio. No we both replied but we have been told it’s good. Well I’ll explain more when the class starts! There are 12 of us in the studio and she begins. Now one thing I’ve found out already about Stacey is that when she’s nervous she laughs….. Not the best of things in a yoga class so I avoid eye contact with her.

She tells us to sit with our legs crossed and relax our shoulders and close our eyes. I’m liking this. Not too bad after all. Then she tells us to do other things, but as we are new we don’t know what she is talking about so I open my eyes to see what the others are doing to be told please close my eye. How am I meant to know what to do?

So I try as much as I can whilst peeking through one eye open and I actually enjoy it. At the end of the class you have a 10/15min cool down and this was great you lay there and think of nothing apart from your body and how it feels. I know this sounds strange but honestly it felt great. I came out feeling so tired but uber relaxed.

Maybe yoga is my new thing…. As long as I can find another class.

When people say a problem shared is a problem halved, they are right!

It has been a strange few week’s… or if I am honest months. And during this time I have distanced myself from my friends when I needed them the most. It all came to a head when my best friend and I had a falling out which is most unheard of.

It was time to come clean about things, and I did. I was so worried about saying certain things but it felt so good to get it all off my chest. My friends have all said that they miss the happy and jolly Doris. So do I.

I am trying my best to get her back.

Work has been a difficult place to be as it seems we have been going through big changes every month. I think it’s now settling down, I am actually enjoying going into work. Don’t get me wrong it’s still busy and busy means you’re not clock watching so I am happy.

 My love life has been like a roller coaster. You all know that the last 9 weeks have been a struggle for me with a certain someone. But in a strange way I feel happier that we are not together anymore. My ex rocking up at my house really threw me and got me questioning myself about things that should never be questioned.

But that is all in the past. The next few months I am going to concentrate on me, me, me and my friends.

Don’t panic I havent given up dating altogether. I am still chatting to people but I have been honest and told them that I am not looking for anything at the moment.  

So watch this space, New Doris is coming soon!

Hobby!

Yes a hobby. I am so bored at the moment.  The feeling sorry for myself about breaking up with Electrician Essex Boy has now gone. That was quick I hear you say but come on lets be honest if he cant talk to me to tell me what was going then his not for me.

I may sound strong but I’ll let you into a secret,inside I am hurting like you wouldn’t know but if I tell myself that I am over it and I am happy then I will be.  There is no point in wasting my time thinking about someone who clearly isn’t thinking about me.

I deserve better!

I was talking to a friend of mine and said what makes you happy?

A few months ago I would have said dating makes me happy, how bad does that sound. It was fun and always a good laugh chatting to the girls about the nights events.

Now this shouldn’t have been a hard question but I actually didn’t have an answer. Of course my family and friends make me happy. But family and friends have their own lives to be getting on with. Its time to have something for me …… but what?

It seems like all I do is go to work, come home eat and do it all again the next day…..

I am going to look at a gym as I have been informed that exercising releases happy endorphins making you feel lots better about yourself, and who knows there might be some hot guys in the gym!

The same friend that asked me the question suggested dog walking…. she said this has she has two gorgeous dogs that I adore especially Charlie, I think it’s because he is ginger like me! Ha ha  

I am always open to ideas so if you can think of a hobby for me let me know!

It’s fair to say that when us girls have a gut feeling we are 99% of the time right!

If you have been reading my blog for a few weeks you will know that I had been seeing my Electrician Essex Boy for 9 weeks and I thought I was happy, but deep down I wasn’t. I was finding it really hard.

We broke up at the weekend and to be honest I am still a little angry as I feel like he is being a child, he won’t talk to me or reply to texts which infuriates me. But there is nothing I can do. So that’s it.

Did the last 9 weeks not mean anything to him?

Am I that bad a person that he can’t bring himself to speak to me and say look Doris this isn’t working.

I can’t believe I got it wrong again…….

I liked him he made me laugh and at first he made me feel special but that all started to change. Some people will think I am needy and maybe I am but I can’t help how I feel. I know I am scarred from past relationships and I tried so hard not to bring any of those insecurities into this relationship. I tried talking to friends about how I was feeling but some of them just didn’t get it.

What’s that saying “Once bitten twice shy” that is definitely me.

Maybe I’m not cut out to be in a relationship, which is sad as I know that one day I would love to have little Doris’s running around, a family of my own, oh and a dog!

I think it’s fair to say it’s not my time yet. So in the mean time I am going to concentrate on me!

I might finally join that gym, might be good to try and keep this break up weight ive lost so far off.  7lbs in 4 days isnt bad going!

 

For the last few weeks I don’t feel like I’ve been myself. Work has been so busy lots of change going on and more responsibility. Which is great but I’m pretty hard on myself at work. It’s what us Virgo’s are like.

At work I am one person and at home I’m another. But just lately I have turned into someone who analyses everything and it’s doing my head in.

Thinking about it though it’s not a recent thing. Over the past two years my ex’s haven’t been the nicest of people cheaters, liars, they really hurt me and I think I’m still paying for it.

I don’t seem to be able really show how I feel as I think it’s going to get thrown back in my face or worse I’ll find out that it’s all a lie and his seeing someone else. I really do not want to have to have a conversation with my boyfriend’s fiancé again!

When does this feeling go away? Does it ever?

My best mate said that I don’t always show my emotion and that upset me. I thought I was an open book but it seems I’m not.

I hate the way this is making me feel. Things have been going well with my Electrician Essex Boy but I feel like I’m waiting for something to go wrong. I would like to point out he is nothing like any of my ex’s far from it but it doesn’t stop me thinking the way I do.

When I meet up with my Electrician Essex boy all I want to do is give him a big fat snog but I don’t ……

The girls are always saying Go with the flow, I should give this a go.

We are all allowed our off days/weeks and this is most certainly one of mine!

 

 

My Electrician Essex boy didn’t let me down I’m glad to say and we had a great night.

He met me outside my office which always makes me feel special.

I wasn’t sure what we were going to do but I didn’t have to worry as he had it all sorted. The plan of action was

Leicester square for some drinks
China Town for dinner
Then cocktails

Sounds like he wanted to get me drunk… well you didn’t hear me complaining!

I can’t tell you how nice it is to meet a bloke who makes the effort in planning a night. If he had his way he would pay for everything which is lovely but I’m not used to it so I like to pay my way.

For me it was a perfect night, not because of what we did but because of the person I was with.

It felt like a first date again, which is always exciting I love that feeling.

Wonder what the next 8 weeks have in store for us!

I’ve got that excited school girl feeling….

Do you know what I mean?

You’re excited but nervous at the same time. It’s a bit like when you’re a kid and its coming up to Christmas and you get excited.

Well that’s me. Why?

Friday is normally my date night with my Electrician Essex Boy, but his let me down a bit lately (it can’t be helped I know). So now when we make plans I’m a little nervous. Please tell me I’m not the only girl in the world who gets excited when they have plans to see someone, especially when it’s someone you really like.

Yep there I said it, I do really like him. But I am worried that if I say it out loud I’ll jink it. How stupid is that!

I thought I wore my heart on my sleeve but I’m not too sure I do anymore. I guess I expect the worst to happen as it normally does.

Some of the girls have stopped asking me about him now as I was getting a little bit annoyed. They kept teasing me saying “is he your boyfriend yet”, when you seeing your boyfriend”. Normally I am up for a bit of banter but this touched a nerve with me. I would love to say he is my boyfriend but I can’t, not yet maybe one day.

When does someone become your boyfriend? Why is the title boyfriend so important?

I like the way it is going,  we don’t see each other all the time but what’s the rush. When we do, we always have a good laugh. We speak all the time via text and phone calls.

People have always said there are nice blokes out there and you know what I think I might have found one of them…. But sshhh don’t tell everyone.